It does sound like something happen between W and her Mom again. I agree with you, an intervention from her family would end badly.
Originally Posted by Hamburg
Is it appropriate to ask some of our common friends to check on W periodically? She looked terrible yesterday, and I am the LAST person she will come to for help. I am deeply concerned for her as well as the kids.
Yes, you are pretty much the last person she will come to, or listen to, or take help from. Common friends that attempt to “help” are usually quickly discarded as well.
Friends, family, etc... that wish to contact W, can. I wouldn’t push anyone to visit or check in on her. Common friends pick a side (your’s or her’s) or try to remain neutral. Asking someone to check in puts them in a difficult position, and they will suffer the consequences of W’s behaviour, which they could blame on you. Best to just let them all sort out their interactions with her.
I found my situation to be very polarizing and most of our common friends did not remain neutral, choosing her or me. Any that questioned her actions found out just how much she wanted them in her life. I also found it interesting with those who followed along with her fantasy.
I do understand how you would like to help her and how terrible she looks. MLCers don’t want help and won’t accept it. They don’t believe they need any help, and you really can’t force help onto a person.
Look after yourself and your kids. Be kind, be compassionate, and leave her to God.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
