FYI - the general rule here is that you let your thread run to 100 posts and then start a new thread linking both threads. I just posted in your new thread. Hopefully Cadet will see this and link them both.
FYI - the general rule here is that you let your thread run to 100 posts and then start a new thread linking both threads. I just posted in your new thread. Hopefully Cadet will see this and link them both.
HopeCA. You are in for a very long a difficult journey. Read everything Cadet posted. At this point its time to work on you, be the best version of yourself possible. Dont pursue your H. Dont focus on making decisions based on how he will react.
Time to be supermom and make decisions that make you happy. My M did not survive unfortunately. That doesnt mean yours wont. But you need to prepare yourself to be a better person no matter what the outcome. You got this! Keep posting and updating.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Thank you for the support. I’m focusing on #1) my daughters well being, both day to day and emotionally/psychologically in the long run. I will say I feel that my H and I are both doing a very good job and keeping things as normal and peaceful as possible for her, and I think she is doing well, thank god. If she weren’t I literally don’t know how I’d handle this. The thing is that my H and actually get along well at this point and even have a pretty nice time together. It’s nice; it’s definitely a huge improvement from the very tense first few months of separation. And it’s defjnitely nice for our daughter. BUT it makes all of this that much more confusing, and keeps feeding the hope inside me. Since he brought up moving forward with divorce a few days ago, I am focusing a lot more on detaching myself and just living my life regardless of his words and actions. It hasn’t been long, but it feels pretty good. I stalled on the papers, telling him I need to look them over and just understand the process (which happens to be true) but obviously I can only do that for so long and I’m DREADING the next time he brings it up.
If he brings up D again just repeat that you understand thats what he wants and that you dont want that but will not stop him.
Are you getting out and getting a life? Hit the gym if you arent. Go buy some nice clothes for yourself. Make a point to look great every day.
I dont even leave my room until my room is clean and im showered and dressed well. I lost a ton of weight and I feel great. I changed my wardrobe as well, now that I fit in nice clothes.
Self care is a huge thing right now. My confidence and self esteem have gone sky high because of the changescI made. Again my M is over, but my WW can see that I value and love myself. My changes were for me, but it improved all of my other relationships when I started to value and respect myself.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Thank you all. I am doing my best to take good care of myself, fortunately I’m last the point of being so depressed that I don’t care about those things. I do my best to keep my home as nice as I can as well as my appearance. Yes, I do these things to attract my husband, but more and more I feel it’s for myself.
I’m feeling super anxious today. My H is coming to see our daughter and I’m extremely nervous, waiting to find out if he will bring up the divorce papers. It’s agonizing. Im conflicted; he gave Me the blank papers he had to look over. The last tome we discussed divorce, he agreed that we could basically fill out the papers together to make sure we are on the same page before filing, to avoid needing lawyers/mediation later. We were in agreement in regard to custody and don’t have any real assets. I’m torn because if he is going to file, I’d like to do it that way and maintain some control. However I got the advice that my helping the process along in that way wouldn’t be a good idea. Don’t know what to do there, and I pray I won’t have to figure it out.
He spent time with 2 of his closest (married) friends over the weekend. I’m praying that just maybe they gave him some wise words about marriage and family.
He brought up the papers again after we put our daughter to bed. I’m devastated. I really had hoped that he might have changed his mind or at least considered it. I guess it’s all magical thinking. I’ve been hopeful for so long and it’s all slipping away and I don’t know what else to do. I want a strategy or a magic bullet. I don’t want to give up but I’m losing hope.
