Here is the thing that people generally don't talk about when they have young kids. I mean under 9 generally. When they're this young, you have to given age appropriate explanations and let them know the separation isn't about them. The LBS and WS have to present a united front for the kids - which I believe is the right option. They are too young to understand what's going on and you want to try and minimize impact - in some ways that's a pipe dream and the impact can't be ascertained till years later.
What gets lost is the following.
The kids are going to grow up! And they're going to have questions. You best believe that I am not putting up a false front when they're old enough to know that their mother decided this and gave no chance to stay as a family. I won't share that until I am asked and I won't do it in a disparaging way to their mother. But I will give them the truth.
This truth is damaging. This will change their R with the mother in some capacity. They will find out that their mother didn't do everything possible to try and salvage the marriage. This is the piece that the WS don't realize - the full truth will come out in time and it will have its day. And that day is going to be ugly.
She has to live with this decision and all its consequences. Will the children get over it in time - I have no idea. But I damnnn well know that I can say that I did all I could. She can't say that.
So no matter how well you can handle it with the kids right now, you're just kicking the can down the road. I've seen this in my own life and in lives of some other folks. And this will be hard especially when the LBS is not a piece of $hit person that justified this decision.
There is a long term view to this that escapes most WS. The future will tell how it plays out.
