Not Sure Where This Is Going

[sandi2]

Hi Niall, I've read your thread and I don't know if I can be of any help, but I would like to try. I have some questions, if you don't mind answering them.

If you were not financially dependent on your W's income, would we see you taking different actions from what you are currently doing?

If your W had a "crush" on OM, would you react differently than knowing it's a woman?

Do you have personal boundaries in place? What would she have to do that would be the last straw for you? I mean, how much disrespect will you endure until you've had enough?

I see you making excuses for your W going out so much. As a mother, I have to wonder how she could be away from her two year old baby that much. On the other hand, as a former WW, I see a lot of familiar signs that shout rebellion. Whatever is going on with this woman, she's acting out in rebellion. It concerns me that you try to be okay it, and even look at another M where the woman is bisexual and think if her H can live that way, then you can too. If that's what you really want........then who are we to try and suggest something else? However, I think if you were okay with it, you wouldn't be here. And the difference in that other H & W from you and your W........his bisexual W is going home and having sex with him, and your W doesn't want sex with you. I suggest this is more than someone who is simply experimenting with the same sex.

You've probably heard how couples have to learn to compromise in M. Don't be misled and think that means you have to compromise your core values, self respect, integrity, etc. As long as you are honest with yourself and true to your own self worth, then your boundary lines won't get buried beneath the b.s. your W is dishing up and serving. Don't you think it's time you evaluate where you draw the line in being disrespected? How long are you willing to play along with her selfish behavior, deny you sex, and leave you basically raising your child alone? That's up to you. From where I sit, I wonder even if this was some type of flash in the pan where she got it out of her system, so to speak.........would she respect what she had in a H when she was ready to settle down and take her role of wife and mother seriously? Nice guys want to believe the W will respect them for how much they put up with, but that's not the case when she's behaving badly.

I don't pretend to understand her sudden attraction for women. I'm more inclined to believe she had either suppressed these feelings a long time........or something stimulated her and made her feel "alive", and she wanted more. If it were another man in the picture, I'd say it was the thrill of crossing the line and dabbling where she had no business dabbling. Why would it be any different with the same sex? I don't understand how some men are okay with their W having sex with other women. Why is not on the same level as her cheating with a guy? Anyway, you have to decide where you draw the line in the sand. What will it take for you to say, "Enough is enough".