Just finished reading your thread(s), and just chiming in with my perspective.
I can't help but state the obvious, which I am sure you are very aware of, but it can be something that we forget easily, because when we feel the situation makes a turn for the better, we are hardwired to just drop everything and rush in to save the day. So, do have YOUR best interest as the priority here - you seem to have fought through so much, and you seem to genuinely be in a very good place in life, where you value yourself, and have the courage to move forward with confidence and a genuine belief, that you deserve happiness - at least that is what I sense from the development in your journaling.
Seeing how absolutely WW your wife was/is, at the beginning really made me think about my own situation, because, when it comes down to it - most of the stories in here are following the same narrative, its just the actors that are not the same.
Whats my point? I have lived the situations, where my "girls gone wild" ex suddenly decided to throw the breadcrumbs, and seemed to be genuinely sorry for everything. This happened on more than a handful of occasions. What did these occasions have in common? I later learned, that her behavioral pattern of wanting to talk about "us", to reassure herself that I was still available, were only important to her, when her OM was unsure of what he really wanted out of the relationship with her. In short, she was making sure I was the plan B.
You see, I was a rookie, and in many ways I still am. But I am wiser, and when I see this pattern, I can't help but chime in, so if this is (which it could be) simply a case of your wife being on rocky grounds with OM and reassuring herself that you are not gone, then you won't make the same mistakes that I did. Because, frankly, its a HUGE mental setback if you take the bait (trust me, I would know).
I chose in the end to let go, and in my story, my ex is happy with her OM and as long as that is the case, I don't hear from her. I do know, that if for some reason things get rocky, she will be on my doorstep before I can spell out "detachment", because that is how it works.
You are doing awesome. Validate by all means, expect nothing, let show a genuine longterm pattern of being sorry for her actions. Keep on GAL, keep on being an AWSOME parent, and down the road, you will know if this is merely a hiccup on her exit strategy, or if she is actually ready to work on you as a couple.
Just my 5 cents.
Have a good weekend.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
