Just get some GAL and keep that road. Still there are too many "she"s in your posting. Let W free and free yourself. We know it´s hard B, but you must do it. The sooner the better.
W asked me today if I would let her roommate watch S tonight so she could go work. I asked if OM1 would be there (since he's now dating her roommate). She said "I don't know their plans, it's not my business."
I reminded her that there's a court order in place that prevents it, and I've already caught him there overnight once, and that standing orders are taken seriously and she could end up with fines or jail, and that if her friends think it's okay, then they aren't good friends.
Suddenly, she found a way to not have to go to work.
She said she sold our couch (her reason was because I didn't pay the car insurance, however she's changed the password and refuses to give it to me). I asked her how much she got for it. She's refusing to answer questions.
While I get that some may say that I need to not worry about this stuff, the standing orders are very relevant to our D, so I have to know this stuff.
She's refusing to look at any messages she doesn't want to answer. In the court monitored app.
W doesn't know that I know, but she's buying a house (in her mom's name, of course). It's not cheap. She got evicted from an apartment that was $585/month, so I'm not sure how she thinks she's going to afford $1,300/month mortgage.
Yeah my XW accumulated 70k in CC debt when we were married without saying a word to me about it until it was monstrous. Once she did we came up with a plan and took care of it. Then she left me and now has her own house (bigger and more expensive than mine, the one she couldn't even manage half the bills on) AND goes on vacations seemingly monthly. I have no clue how she's doing it unless her mom is supplementing her income or she came into a big windfall somewhere. But it's been going on for years and she hasn't been foreclosed on or anything! So yeah, your W might very well make it work despite your thinking she can't. It's not really your concern one way or the other though, is it? Other than making sure S is safe.
Mine did something similar...but instead of helping pay it all down, she just left. It's not really my concern except she's also trying to get me in trouble at work (confirmed with HR), and she's trying not to have to pay child support despite giving me primary custody. But as for S, he needs a safe place to visit with W. Her mom just retired from a small town radio station, so her income is going to be very low. W makes a decent amount, and they are doing this in her mom's name so that W can dodge having to say it's her house (we're still technically married, so if she IS on the paperwork, that's going to be a giant fiasco for her). Her moms old house is horrendous, she was a hoarder, the place honestly needs to be bulldozed.
I don't think there's any windfall here. W and I work for the same company, so I know roughly what she makes, and it's not enough to swing that house note and child support (once it kicks in). So really, it's a bit amusing the lengths she's going to in order to appear to be a "good mom" and a "tough, smart, independent grown woman".
There's no possible way she could do this without someone else being on the hook for it. And since her mom co-signed for the apartment she was evicted from, once this falls through (which is pretty likely), that's going to make it far, far harder for them to make it work.
Had a meeting with the school today about S's upcoming school year stuff. W and I both had to be there.
She's a bit strange. Any time I catch her looking at me, she does that shy giggly thing that girls do. Then she almost blurts something out, but says "nope, can't say that" instead. I tell her she might as well say it, and she just shyly grins and refuses.
I know it's probably just more verbal abuse she's trying to keep inside. Or backhanded things. Or something nice that she doesn't want to say because she doesn't want me to catch on that she wants me on the back burner in case she can't "find herself" in the pile of OM.
Pretty sure it's that last thing though. lol.
Ah well. Not much changing these days. Just thought it was funny that she still gets like that around me.
Another (blatant) manipulation attempt after I ignored all the flirting from W yesterday...
Got a message from W: "I'm having a pretty severe allergic reaction to coconut right now. I can't find anyone to cover for me at work for my shift today. If it's still this bad when I get off, I'm considering urgent care or the ER. If I go there, would you be able to keep S? Please let me know. Thanks"
Now, a bit of backstory...she's been saying she's mildly allergic to coconut for YEARS, but I've never seen her have a severe reaction to any of the stuff she's claimed that she's allergic to that she refuses to stop consuming.
Refuses. Not forgets and accidentally consumes...just doesn't care to stop. ====================
So I'm looking at this message and a few things are really interesting (that clued me in that this screams 'help me I need attention and I'm gonna use you to make that happen)...first, she is at work. She can't find someone to cover her shift, and IF she feels bad after her shift she MIGHT go to the ER...well, that's not a "severe" allergic reaction. Here's my response:
"If you're having a severe allergic reaction (swelling, breathing issues) then you need to go to the ER now, not later. Also, you've said for years you were allergic to coconut, so consuming it while knowing you're allergic isn't a great decision.
There's a convenience store right next to the store (and a WalMart). If it's not so severe that you have to leave work now, I'd recommend taking some Benadryl, because it's not an emergency.
If you ARE having actual severe symptoms, then go to the ER right now. "
====================
Subtle, check. Attempts to use my feelings as a tool, check. Trying to use me to get a free night off by exaggerating an issue, also check.
I don't mind helping in an actual emergency. But this doesn't appear to be an actual emergency, and it just looks like a blatant manipulation attempt to me.
