Having no expectations or low expectations is soooooo hard though. I also find it hard empathising with someone who has their walls up against you too, I so want to understand and have compassion for my dh but when I feel shut out I feel rejected instead and then it's back to being about me instead of him. Then it's self protection mode. It's certainly difficult to have empathy for someone who has the power to hurt you. I don't know whether any of that resonates? I also don't know how best to move forward, maybe with as much kindness to both yourself and him as possible.
