Things have been quiet on the homefront. The last communication I have had from H was last Friday. He just informed me he was going to the house to do the yardwork - yes folks. 6 months into this and he still comes over to do the yardwork once a week or sometimes he skips a week. He also then picks up his mail. I find this a bit odd, continuing the yardwork. I don't say anything. We had a few text messages about taxes, and that's been it for a week. He's been real quiet for 3 weeks - just the temp check about him being sick, and last Friday.
He's posted some strange things on Facebook - about despair, and today lyrics to a song that are a bit ominous. So much so that one of our couple's friend asked if he was o.k. Before he even posted this, I have had a very strong feeling I should send him a short text asking him if he was doing o.k. I've refrained, but that strong feeling is there.
I've had something going on every night this week, and have plans for Friday night and Saturday too, so the GAL business is booming. When I'm home, I have been doing a new devotional - the Purpose Driven Life "What on Earth am I Here For?". I'm on day 7 - and it takes a little over an hour each day. I love it! I feel God working in me, and just continue to pray that he will be able to reach H (not for R, but for him to find hope).
So in this new devotional, one of the things that we should contemplate is how we can serve God. I thought about how I'm serving him today. 3 things popped into my mind and went into my journal:
1. Being present for my kids. I've had lots of text messages every day, and a few phone calls this week, esp from D19, but from S21 too. I am so thankful they feel close to me and keep that connection going with me regularly. 2. Making "pillowcase" dresses for a mission trip to take to Guatemala this summer. (you can look up what they are, if you want, but a woman in my bible study and her husband run a mission every year, and they take these dresses as gifts for the children). My goal is to make 20 by June 1 (hopefully more). 3. Praying for my H to open his eyes and heart to God and His Grace and redemption.
I realized today that I haven't worn my wedding rings in almost a week. I took them off like I usually do for the gym last Saturday and never put them back on. I think I will start wearing them again, though. I don't think I'm ready to look down and remind myself that I am only married on paper.
