Steve 85 and JB. I have a Easter egg hunt at W's friends which we go to every year. Still on IHS. Its my weekend to watch S1. Still haven't given an answer if I'm going. I'm torn, like over the W's bday at MIL last week which I went to, and got a gracious hug for thoughtfulness of small gifts, and R talk which she initiated, which consisted of her talking about how we can be amicable about all family events in future. Shared a lot of feelings about current reality. I just shut up, and validated, and she kept right on talking. She started romanticizing, and planning about me being there for beach trips w baby, family occasions, etc, since this is her mindset from some of her family members divorces.
I think I'm at a point now where I can be present at family occasions now, and not dwell on sich, past, and future. But im torn over these things also, because I also don't want to allow cake eating, but have notice more positive responses from W being more present, more involved. and the more interest I take in social affairs, and S1 affairs lately. We started going for walks lately all together.
Difficult to gauge these things because of mindset between the WAW and WW are similar but different. One is walking away because of disappointment and resentment and lack of attraction. The other is just in a seething full rebellion mode and knows they are wrong but won't realize until they come out of the fog.
So confusing. Still feels like I'm in the friend zone as far as attraction, even though I'm getting more positive responses as of lately by getting more involved, and being more present. Or am I just reading things and being fed bread crumbs?
So Steve... I understand that by"not playing family" during a separation you are essentially calling their bluff to R in the future which is the way I interpreted it.
What do the vets think about these types of family situations?
