So I hit the gym before church.

This morning W was very angry this was being dragged out. I am getting tired of it too. Having her so close and her wanting to be gone. She says never. Hurts. She says stuff to push buttons. After all this time she knows all of them.

You would think I would too. I probably do but deny it. I am trying to not push buttons on her. Seems all but two buttons are not working right. One button, which seems to move at random, gets a good response. All the others are wired together and trigger alarms and all negatives.

So after the D is final... she is supposed to move out. Still so much stuff of hers. Her brother too and his stuff. Change the locks or not? I don't want to be a monster (too late right) but I also don't want her to have a free ride. I worry where ever she will be that she will be safe. Yeah... not my problem. I wouldn't be me if I didn't worry.

The TSM is hiding mostly. Taking a peek now and then.

Will the reality of this hit her and will she realize I, flawed as I am, aren't the monster she sees right now? Mind reading... pointless. Work on me now.

The thought of dating and all that involves... maybe in the future. Wasn't all that good at it last time. Time will tell. Maybe not. Took my Dad almost 18 months to reach the point of wanting to date after my Mom passed. Never did though. His health wasn't up to it.

Me... get a CDL... would have to get training for that. I can learn it so that isn't the question. Dealing with the alone time, and there is a lot of that, on the road. Plus side... got friends and family scattered. Just would need a residence and pretty certain my kids would allow that. So the question then would be NY or IL for residence. Or somewhere else.

Mrs. Turbine... I still love you after all this... I am sorry for many things. Marrying you wasn't one of the regrets though. Hard times and all. I don't want anyone else...

Yes... not very good DBing there. She won't see it and pretty sure you won't tell her either.

Last edited by Turbine; 04/04/19 06:02 PM.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1