I've been thinking about acceptance and uncertainty too. I know when I feel angry with H it is because I want him to say 'everything is going to be okay' and for me to be able to believe him. And of course he can't say that, and he can't make me believe or not believe anything. It isn't his job to cure my trust issues in this relationship or my general anxiety around vulnerability or my existential woe! And I did make it his job - I expected him to be my solid ground and he really did try his best to be. I think a lot of his anger is about feeling shamed for not being able to make me safe in the way I wanted to be.
And now I have to accept uncertainty and come to rely on myself and be the person who says to myself 'it will be all right' and some days I can and some days I can't. It is so so so hard. I will check out the podcast you mention. A book I've found useful about this sort of thing is called Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. It is Buddhist but she refers to other spiritual traditions too and if you're not a person of faith, I don't think it loses its value or there's anything objectionable in it.
