Try hard I don't know how this is working for me so far in the long run, but I am noticing responsive difference in the immediate now. Forgive but don't forget. In order to attract them back to the marriage they have to have incentive to return to it. I think. Both the WW, and the WAW has a mindset that is over so many years, built up so much resentment and tally scorekeeping of all of our wrongs, rather than forgiving in the moment, and moving forward. Some of them have a rebellious mindset like the WW, some of them go through an MLC, and some of them build up so much resentment that they're unhappy, and start hunting for a new life with new hobbies or new people in them, guys under the predisposition of self empowerment, and independence. Either way what they're doing is wrong and selfish in my opinion, and shows their lack of commitment, and ability to forgive, although they justify it and their own minds.
Back to my point. Try getting your head and mind out of the past and out of the future, and being present in the moment, practice mindfulness in the here and with your W. Remove any and all problems from your mind when interacting with them if possible. Pleasant and happy with no stress if you can manage it, but also still having boundaries and standards if R talks do come up. Pay attention to what's being said and pay more attention to what's not being said and how she's responding. I'm not sure if I'm being delusional at this point but I'm think I'm starting to see a shift in responsiveness in my W.
