Not to say it isn’t possible, she makes a point of letting me verify if she meets up with a friend, but I am meeting a friend in Saturday and she is doing the same , I smell a bit of something there but it will be impossible to completely verify that they aren’t booking a hotel and dashing in and out , but I think that is pushing on paranoia
AS , this is something I understand in my sitch , I cannot blame her really to seek solace and passion when I had enforced a S that she didn’t want and made little effort to reconnect with her . I guess when I found out about OM I realised that I had lost her. I don’t think people do things without a reason mostly. It’s just the lbh fog seems to be the thickest . Us men really need to learn R skills
Try hard I don't know how this is working for me so far in the long run, but I am noticing responsive difference in the immediate now. Forgive but don't forget. In order to attract them back to the marriage they have to have incentive to return to it. I think. Both the WW, and the WAW has a mindset that is over so many years, built up so much resentment and tally scorekeeping of all of our wrongs, rather than forgiving in the moment, and moving forward. Some of them have a rebellious mindset like the WW, some of them go through an MLC, and some of them build up so much resentment that they're unhappy, and start hunting for a new life with new hobbies or new people in them, guys under the predisposition of self empowerment, and independence. Either way what they're doing is wrong and selfish in my opinion, and shows their lack of commitment, and ability to forgive, although they justify it and their own minds.
Back to my point. Try getting your head and mind out of the past and out of the future, and being present in the moment, practice mindfulness in the here and with your W. Remove any and all problems from your mind when interacting with them if possible. Pleasant and happy with no stress if you can manage it, but also still having boundaries and standards if R talks do come up. Pay attention to what's being said and pay more attention to what's not being said and how she's responding. I'm not sure if I'm being delusional at this point but I'm think I'm starting to see a shift in responsiveness in my W.
Thanks ihclacs , I do 99% of the time , and we do get on really well together. I will catch up on your posts , I don’t like to comment if I cannot add anything as I am new
