OK here goes first post... pt 5

[Wanted1]

I have been learning a lot about narcissism and come to the conclusion that it fits WW - lies, manipulation, smirk, selfishness, no empathy, sense of entitlement, emotionally immature, blaming and deflecting, everything black or white with no grey areas etc. Has anyone else noticed this?

W and I spent about an hour together today. Now that I am more aware of narcissism, I could clearly see the very troubled person hiding behind a happy mask. WW hasn't changed, if anything she's got worse and has taken her troubles with her.

I absolutely believe it fits my exW, too. Although when talking about it with my IC back in the beginning of January, my IC thought she maybe fit a little bit of two disorders. Narcissism and another one that I can't recall off hand. I did look it up afterwards and parts of it seemed to fit as well. My IC said a lot of times people can have a few traits of a couple different ones. We had 2 joint C sessions, therefore, my IC met with my exW both those times. So, it wasn't a diagnosis simply based off what I was telling her in my sessions, either.

Everything you list as traits that your WW shows I saw a lot in my exW. It is truly been mind blowing to me that someone can actually act and portray themselves in such a way. Right before our D was final, she had the audacity to tell me that she's "been working very hard for many weeks with her IC to try to recover from the fear she has of me." The only thing I can come up with is that this is the ONLY justification she can use that can't be completely proven to be false, even though it is. Never once, in our R, have I ever done anything that would cause her to "fear" me. I'm the most laidback person there is. I forgave her TWICE for having A with 2 of my best friends. And was willing to do it a third time! Since having fear of me is a feeling, she can run with that without anyone telling her she's wrong to feel such a way. (Narcissism?) I wanted to tell her that maybe she should be devoting her IC sessions to fixing her own issues, but we all know how that would go!

Hang in there, D.