Hmmm. I can say that my W's first EA in 2005, there were definitely slips as she went through withdrawal from the emotional high that she had been getting from the relationship. About a month after I confronted her, and she sent a cease and desist email to him, she emailed him.
lost8, I would stay the course for now. Remember the WW is on her own roller-coaster ride, and I don't expect that would stop immediately after recommitting back to the marriage. I am sure there are still ups and downs related to the end of the relationship. sandi and other former WWs talk about that withdrawal. I know my W went through it hard in 2005, and again last year, though last year's lasted much shorter due to it not being as far developed. I would let her ride this out. Over time, with your 180s, and with your reconciliation efforts, she will finally get past all of this.
As, whether PA or EA, are not something that is easily gotten over. For the LBS it can be difficult to relate to. For the LBS it is "end it, let's move forward, and that's the end". But As have a way of emotionally hooking, especially women, and it isn't unlike a drug addiction. Lots of articles written about how the endorphins involved in an A are very similar in the brain to cocaine. So you need to think of your W as an addict and manage your expectations related to that perspective.
Are you guys in MC? Is she in IC? I don't see how you can manage all of this without outside, objective help.
Last edited by Steve85; 04/03/1912:52 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
