Yes, it's the final straw, exactly. And feeling unloved and alone and abandoned is just the pits.
I think the acts of service is HIS LL, not mine. So for years he would do those little things for me and I would ignore them, that must have been hurtful. And when I did stuff for him I did it grudgingly, so my 180 is doing stuff for him swiftly and willingly. I'm not sure if his other LL is words of affirmation or gifts, so I try to do both (affirmation does not come easy). My other 180 is thanking him every time he does something for me, whether it's a nice date at a nice pub or him coming over at the weekend.
My LL are physical touch and quality time I think. Both very scarce right now, and both things he has given me less and less of over the years. Also why I asked him for a proper hug after every meeting, and also why I asked him for the weekly date and also I am fairly insistent on seeing him at least for a short time each weekend. He has met that though the physical touch hasn't been as much as I'd like.
I'm trying hard to see his working so hard as an act of service, that's one thing I need to apologise for saying to him yesterday. I feel soooooo resentful of him choosing his job over his family, I really really struggle with that and have done for a long time. But expressing that isn't helpful, I would be better thanking him for working so hard for his family and our financial security. I have been expressing this more in the last few months but I need to step it up a gear. I know he gets all kinds of other ego boosting benefits and so on from his job, but fundamentally him working hard is part of what he prides himself on so I should appreciate him for that too. Something to keep 180ing on, being grateful to him for working hard even though it robs his family of HIM. Really not easy...
