That sounds really hard, and definitely exhausting! OK, how would this be: 'I'm sorry if I'm ringing you at a bad time, let me know if it's really terrible timing and you can ring me back. I just really need to vent right now, I had such a bad time with eldest this morning and I feel terrible. Please don't criticise because I know I haven't been a perfect parent. I just need to tell you what happened and have you listen'
You are entitled to ask for support without him criticising, but also perhaps you could see his criticism here as being in Mr Fixit mode? Sometimes I complain to my dh and he says 'I don't know what to suggest' or 'I can't fix your hormones' but then suggests going to the doctor. So instead of seeing the criticism as attack, see it as your husband not knowing what he needs to do? Plus some bad old habits from both of you (him criticising, you feeling attacked)
