Yes I agree that it's too much to expect, especially as he never did much before, I think the physical distance is just much harder when you're under the weather. And I seem to have had my body misbehave far more than normal in the last 7 months! (stress? plus hormones, weight loss, etc)
I think caring for me looks like acts of service, cooking a nice dinner, filling my car up, that sort of thing. And he still does that sort of thing occasionally when he has the opportunity. I think it's got less and less over the years as he's got busier and busier and worked harder and longer hours, and he felt unappreciated so thought why bother appreciating me.
I really wish I hadn't been so needy because it turned into one of those circular sessions where we both say not very nice, completely unconstructive things to each other. I will apologise properly to him about my words and tell him I intend not to use them in future. I want to be more positive in what I ask for, not rehash old arguments which go nowhere.
Dh is hungover after a very late and alcohol filled work dinner last night, he now has to take his mum to lunch and then hopefully he can catch up on sleep so he's nice to be with tomorrow evening. I'm kind of glad I don't have to see him today actually! I wish he didn't drink so much, I think he wishes that too. I don't want him to reach the stage of harming his health, though he has told me a few times the old chestnut of 'you've got to die sometime you might as well die happy'. Ugh. I'm not sure he believes that though I'm not sure he knows how to cut down or give up his crutch. I told him he's given up his wife before wine, there was too much truth in there to be comfortable.
Anyway, I have a nice busy day planned, lots of productive work, seeing a friend for a class, taking ds2 to an appointment later, a counselling appointment, going to cook myself a proper dinner and get lots of gardening done. I should get started.
