Just met with my L, and we are on the same page about how I will be proceeding. W is going to have file for D, and then I will take the lead on custody agreement and financial terms. I am going to drive that bus.
I also scheduled a meeting with my accountant next week to discuss the impact of D and how settlement terms might impact my taxes. I need to know what moves to make and what to avoid.
I have already taken an inventory of all household property so we can discuss division and buy-outs.
This is primarily a business deal for me at this point. Can't lie that yes there is some level of emotion still there, but I am 6 months BD and zero spinning going on. Once I got through telling the kids many weeks ago, it was like turning a page. The next big emotional hurdle is getting the kids accustomed to 2 homes, but until then, it's just business.
Am I detached and has the rope been dropped? Pretty doggone close. A recent long conversation with my dad helped. He described W as "toxic". He said his own W would not be that kind when describing my W. Is it strange that I feel a punch in the gut whenever I hear others confirm my take on my W's issues? It's also a feeling of relief. It's a strange combo of feelings. Bittersweet to an extent.
Last week was the first time since BD that W said she was going out to dinner with "some friends". I said that's fine I love a daddy night with the kids. Didn't ask with who or where she was going, or when she'd be back. She left at 6 and was home at 10:30 - I was already in bed. Next morning, I didn't mention a word about her dinner - just made the kids breakfast and shuttled them off to school. Was she on a "date"? Who knows. Do I care? On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being "I am freaking out she is definitely cheating!!", I am an honest 2. Feels great to be at 2, on my way to 0 or as close as I can get.
So far I have been a very good boy and am avoiding OW. Can't lie, OW are on my mind quite a bit, and my town and the next 2 towns over are stocked with beautiful women. All in due time.
I thought a few weeks ago, "am I done DBing? I am moving on, dropping the rope, I don't care anymore, IDGAF, I'm beyond GAL I HAVE a life, I don't want a R with this person as she is now." Then I realized that with this attitude, maybe I am DBing at an even higher level now.
