she has been trying to extend the conversation, which I promptly end. I don't think that it's really temp checking, but maybe it is?
More than likely that's exactly what it is.
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That's when she started telling me that she feels extremely guilty (she did not specify about what and I did not ask) and that she's sorry that she never agreed with me when I said we needed to do things as a couple. It was a blind-side to me (even though I left that door open by asking if she was okay) and I didn't know what to say so I validated her feelings and told her to focus on things to be grateful about. She said she wants to talk when she gets back.
OK, so believe it or not this happens a lot. It doesn't mean she's had a change of heart, it's possible but it's still a little too soon for that. Don't confuse "guilty" feelings with remorse. When a WAS feels guilty it's because they know they are hurting people, but they still feel JUSTIFIED in their actions. When they cease to feel justified and start feeling true remorse for what they've done and realized the mistake they've made, THEN recon might be on the table.
Also, do not be surprised if she never mentions "the talk" again. A lot of LBS's get excited when they hear this and prepare what they are going to say and how they are going to respond, and then they wait and wait and wait and the WAS never brings it up again. Just put it out of your mind.
But if it does happen then do exactly as DV said, tell her you appreciate her sharing (no matter what it is) and it's something you need to think about. Do not give her any answers to questions she may have. Do not commit if she asks you do do family stuff with her or asks you about recon or anything. Be 100% non-committal, because even if she does want to recon she needs to know she doesn't just snap her fingers and you come running. You need time to think, and she needs time to worry that you're not instantly available. Then come back here for advice.
