Also look up mtb's threads. I will look to see if I can find them. He had a particularly WW and he dealt with it pretty well.
I took a look at the mtb threads. What a mess. His wife working in the bars, the pills and cocaine, not seeing the kids for weeks on end. It reminded me of another couple of stories I've seen on here. Just sad.
My wife definitely wants to go out and have her fun without me involved at all, and I feel like she's not paying enough attention to D2, but otherwise she's been healthy. Eating better, hardly ever drinks, no drugs at all. OW2, other than potentially hooking up with a married mom, seems to be a model citizen. She's not hanging out with total dirtbags. Not that that helps me much.
Six months ago she said that she spent all her time worried about our child, her parents (who had recently relocated here, language barrier, money issues), her sister (mental health issues), her at-risk students, and me. These days of course that's been revised to just me. I think the truth is that she loves D2 but doesn't love the loss of freedom that comes with having a young child, and it's manifesting like this. If our relationship were otherwise OK, with no infidelity issues and completely shutting me out, I'd be totally fine with watching D2 sometimes so she could get out and have some fun. She's gone about this terribly and all of us will probably pay for it forever.
Mtb was tempted to give in to his W almost the whole time but in the end took the tough steps necessary for her to sleep in the bed she made.
Yep, your sitch is no where near as bad as mtb's. However, your W is showing some definite GGW behavior, and at the expense of D2. That is why I pointed you in mtb's direction. mtb did struggle but notice how strong he got when he finally decided he'd had enough, and he was going to put his kids first, and himself 2nd. Her a distant 3rd. The problem with our sitches is that our love for our Ws make us focus too much on them. We think it is our job to save them from themselves. Almost all of these WWs are willing to put their wants and needs above everything else: their kids, their previous morals, and especially the lBH.
I can also say from my own experience, that when my perspective switched from trying to save my W from herself, and trying to save my D and myself, things turned around pretty quickly. My sitch was very unique in timing and turnaround speed, so please take it with a huge grain of salt, but you will never move forward with your focus on her.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
