That all sounds very positive, I know family dynamics have been a huge part of the problems between you and your husband. It also sounds like you handled both eldest and your husband really well, even in the midst of some behaviour which must have been scary to you. Sounds like family therapy has been useful already perhaps? Well done, I think you should be proud of yourself. I aspire to behaving like a grownup with my husband the way you have been with yours lately
