Good morning roist. I don't believe that I've ever posted to you before despite our paths crossing many times. I know very little about your history so keep that in mind please.
I personally believe that most people don't change. Not that they "can't" change but that true change is very difficult. From what I've read you put out an extra effort with a particular goal in mind and now you're tired. You are returning to the you that you were. It's a thing. Neither good nor bad. We are counseled here to change and adapt and "do the 180" but really, all that only matters if those changes are fundamental. Which is very hard and quite rare.
You sound tired. Rather than as a rock, you've been carrying both sides for quite a long time. It's ok that you are now tired. It makes perfect sense.
For your W - she's undoubtedly not changed either. Each of your personalities are probably reverting to the old ways and the old patterns. The issues that were there before are still there under the veneer.
As far as what to do now and going forward - those choices are your's alone. I honestly don't know enough to be able to provide any reasonable advice.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
