Not Sure Where This Is Going

[Niall11]

You need to sit down, and my suggestion would be a follow up on what you already told her: You guys have a joint responsibility for your daughter. You can understand that she has the right to have friends, to go out, to do whatever she wants to, and you totally get, that that is her privilige, and you have absolutely no intentions of staying in her way, AS LONG as she does on her own time. So, you need to get her to sit down, and make a schedule on paper, and if she won't, then you need to figure out what your next step is in order for you to make that plan a reality - what are your boundaries, and what are the consequences for breaking these?

Thanks so much for commenting. A schedule is definitely coming.

I don't know how to enforce her breaking that schedule other than leaving, which I don't intend to do just yet. Under the circumstances I understand it would be more appropriate for her to leave, but at the moment I wouldn't be able to afford to be here alone. Frankly she wouldn't be either but she'd come closer. Her pay is regular. I'm self-employed and it's been a lousy couple of years and income has been erratic. Some months pretty good, some very lean. One of the biggest changes I need to make is to get back to a regular paycheck so I have more options and leverage.