Not Sure Where This Is Going

[Niall11]

Quite the weekend in my world. Friday evening I had a function that has been on the calendar for months. The kind of thing that, five years ago, wife would have gone with me to. Three years ago, I would have had to make an excuse for her absence because she was NEVER feeling sociable. One or two years ago, she would have had the built-in excuse of being home with the baby.

She asked me what time I expected to be back. I said maybe 8:30 or 9. She said, "OK, then I'll handle bedtime." I got home around 8:45 and our D2 was running around the house, W chasing her. W says: "Thank God, you're here. She's just been asking for you the whole time." I took over bedtime duties and, within 15 minutes, W left the house without a word of notice and came home well after midnight.

Saturday the weather was halfway decent and W wanted to buy training wheels for D2's bike. We all went together and, as I was putting them on the bike, W announces that she's going to meet "a friend" for a movie. She leaves at 12:30 pm and comes back around 5. Throws together a quick dinner, then starts getting ready to go out yet again with no prior notice.

I said, "If you want to go out and do things that's fine, but we need to set up some kind of schedule and you can't keep expecting me to be here to watch D2 when you give me no notice that you're planning to go out.

She said her friend just texted her and she decided to go out. Highlights:

--"I'm sorry it's inconvenient for you that I have friends now."
--"I'm not going to feel guilty about having a life now."
--"I can go out where I want, when I want, with whom I want, until whatever time I want, and it's none of your f------ business and if you don't like it I don't f------ care."

She then totally reinvented history by suggesting:

(1) That I have been controlling for years and never let her go out with her friends. This is total nonsense. Even when she was in grad school (2011-13), I had to encourage her to accept invitations to go do things. Her instinct was to stay home every night. Once she started her previous job, she would come home and change to PJs at 5:30. She never wanted to do anything. I actually liked when she would go out from time to time. I could blast music I like but she doesn't.

(2) That I "prohibited" her from having her friends to our house. Everyone we know would laugh out loud at this. It's the total reverse of what happened. Multiple friends of mine refuse to come back to our house because she was so rude to them. Because she never wanted anyone coming over. The few times her friends have been over here, I suggested it almost every time and had to convince her.

I didn't engage on any of this stuff, other than to say that someone has to be home to take care of D2 and W shouldn't assume I'm always available for that. I think a schedule is appropriate.

Meanwhile, on Sunday afternoon D2 was crying and W went to comfort her. D2 pushed her away and asked for me. Later W asked D2 to say something about me. D2 said, "Daddy's funny." I asked her to say something about W. She said, "Mommy's sleeping! Mommy's doing exercise! Mommy's not here!"

Sure enough, at 7 pm last night W went out AGAIN with zero notice. Potential OW2 was sitting in a car in my driveway. W's been whining about being tired all the time, but came home at 1 am. She gets up at 6 for work. Tonight is the regularly scheduled dance class (8-9 pm, most weeks she rolls in around 1).

I'm being taken advantage of here and it's not going to last.