I don't regret anything I said to him. Not one word. I felt raw from experiencing the hatred and the anger (it has been years since I got it in person), but I was pretty tough throughout. In fact when he first said the word divorce I laughed. I don't understand how he still believes that this a threat to me. Today I feel great. I went for a drive around a beautiful local lake (unfortunately I recently learned that a notorious serial killer had killed two people there).
I have removed him from the accounts that I can. Our bank is also our insurance company. They have members all over the world and very few branches. They are pretty much open 24/7 and just about everything can be done online. I recently had to have my mom take me off her accounts (when the divorce was pending) so those things would not be considered my assets. They did it with a phone call confirming that I wanted to be taken off. He could have done this very easily and has now had several days to do it.
He sent S one of his test texts today to see if he has been blocked. I just find that sad. No words, just an article from a newspaper. Just a way to make sure the text went through.
I looked up our last very nasty exchange. It was in November 2016 (I later learned 22 days after he and OW1 broke up). In that exchange he told me he was never, ever coming back (I had forgotten that), and that he and OW1 were madly in love, that he was in very good hands, and that he wanted a divorce as quickly as possible. Seeing that again is just another reminder that this will not go anywhere. He kept that ruse up for another two months.
I do think he and OW2 are almost over. I don't say that with hope, quite the opposite. I think it is why he can't let go. If he were blissfully happy and ready to move on forever, things wouldn't go this way. He was being flirty and kind up until the point I would not tell him where I was moving and said it wasn't really his business anymore. That was the beginning of the nastiness, and the first mention of divorce.
KML, you asked if it was strategy. Absolutely. Job suggested a few months back asking if he wanted to move home. I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready for the nasty tirade I think. This time I welcomed it. In the interim I realized that all of his relationships have been based in fantasy and that reality is what has tended to cause problems. In view of that, it occurred to me that the "option" of moving home was perhaps another fantasy, and that if I made that option real to him, he might realize definitively it is not what he wants. I have mused on this several times recently on my thread. The concerning part is that while he gave me the crazy look. He did not say, that will never happen or that I was nuts or anything else.
He had tried to hack into another of my financial accounts on my birthday (they are all on massive lock-down now). When I met him in his town shortly after I brought this up. He said, "which one?" I now realize he asked that because he has done several. But he also knew that I knew about it. I think he just wanted to provoke another reaction. Just like the other things he did the day after. Some sign that I'm still on the hook after the "discussion."
I'm torn about the taxes. I would like to make him file single, but I suspect that he will just short my check, crying poor for having to pay the taxes. Also, I said I would jointly file and going back on my word, even to him, is something I don't think I'm willing to do. It is important to me that he sees me acting as though this exchange changed nothing. I don't want him to feel any more power from this. That I am still looking for a cordial and civil resolution (which I am). My best chance of getting this wrapped up is through his desire to see himself as a good person.
He has to contact me in the next two weeks. It won't be in person. He is too fearful. I will gauge my response by his approach. If I haven't heard from him by the 10th, I'll tell my accountant to prepare for a single, HOH file.
