Thank you FlySolo. I somehow knew you'd have some kind and calming words for me
I'm currently at the college library doing some homework, trying to take my mind of the day. I had to get out of the house. I had a few additional realizations as the hours go by.
1) W's comment "I thought you had moved on" was likely a way for her to assuage herself of her guilt. If I'm okay then she's doing the right thing. I can't do that. I can't say she is or is not doing the right thing. I'm not trying to add guilt and I'm not trying to say I know better. I was just honest with her - yes, I'm trying to move on but it was only because of her decision. I am responding to the option she has given me.
2) Thank you for your validation that I'm not wrong for wanting my ring back on. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, to be honest. But I so appreciate you saying that the decision is only for me.
3) W's interaction with me was calmer than I have seen her in months. No anger. I sensed she still blames me for us getting to this point, but she did not come out and say this. It was how she said, "I'm disappointed we got to this point to". If I were to speculate, I'd say for her this is completely about me not supporting her desire to pursue her new job. Again, I'm not trying to say she's right or wrong - just that this is what I'm witnessing from my perspective right now.
The space may be changing her. I know it's changing me. This is neither good nor bad, it's just a natural progression of what we're going through. Neither of us will be the same.
Tomorrow is another day. I have a busy week coming up. I'm going to try to focus on that, and allow my subconscious to process this continual struggle.
