Persistent Endurance (Part 2)

[curtis7]

I would let her know that is not acceptable to you to discuss with the kids about her moving out when you haven't both sat down and discussed it with them first.

I told W I haven’t received the closing docs to review yet, and she said she hasn’t either. I asked about the parenting arrangement with the kids since she will be moving out this week. She said she would like the kids to stay with her a few nights a week. I said this was different from what we had discussed in January where the kids would stay in our marital home with me during the week and with her every other weekend. She said this was at the recommendation of the MC we saw a month ago that said the kids would be confused by her going away. She was visibly emotional when talking about not seeing the kids in the morning and her eyes were slightly watery. I validated and said I wish things are different and she agreed.

I told her I wish we would have discussed the parenting arrangement and schedule in advance before she talked to the kids. She acknowledged there’s not going to be much for the kids over there for a few weeks. No TV, internet, limited furniture. I asked who she was going to inform about the separation such as family and friends. She said several of them recommended she talk to a L, but she hasn’t yet because she said that would make all of this more complicated right now and she wants to give this a chance to figure out how she feels. She said that would be more than weeks and couldn’t really say how long that would be, she said maybe 6 months, she doesn’t want to put a deadline on it. I continued to validate and said yes, we both need time and did not offer alternatives or pass judgment.

She said she’s waiting for my claws to come out and drop legal documents on her. She has been been told by several people to get everything out of the house that she wants before she leaves. She told them she’s not going to do that right now and wants to try this her way.