Ok - you already know you blew it from a DBing point of view - I kept wanting to yell "drop the rope!"
You got him to agree about the house equityand to say he wanted the divorce - I recommend you get that agreement drawn up ASAP and get him to sign it while he's still amenable.
Get the divorce done as soon as you can - its time to be financially free. But don't put the house up for sale until you have his signature on a binding agreement giving you the equity.
Btw I hope you weren't serious about taking him back - but that may have been brilliant strategy to push him to prove you wrong by moving ahead with the divorce.
Remember he has years of work on himself ahead of him before he'd be anyone you'd want to be with, and he shows no sign of doing that work. Get yourself out of financial limbo, nothing about the divorce prevents him from returning in the future if he's capable.
