If I'm honest with myself, it's been more the other way around for most of my marriage. I've always earned more, worked longer hours, travelled more with my work. He's always done more in the house, and taken the lead in arranging family time and activities and holidays. I took him for granted, but I also felt that in the times when I did try to make things more even, he would be so critical of how I did things, or how I parented, that it felt easier just to step back. So this separation has re-set things in the house, in that I am doing everything as I see fit and nothing has fallen apart or broken and he can see that all the domestic stuff is entirely within my capabilities and I don't need managing, and I'm in the position where I'm having to take a more supporting role to him and his work, which is very different too. It still feels lopsided - and he did acknowledge that - but I hope that in the future there will be some kind of balance. I don't want to get my hopes up on that. And at least I know that if we decided to divorce, I can financially and domestically look after everything on my own if needed.
