Ha, I used to sometimes say that dh expected me to be an unpaid PA and cleaner who gave him sex occasionally, it is not nice to be taken for granted is it? Though dh did it partly as a response to me taking him for granted and resenting him for not being home. Dh has taken more of an interest in domestic matters though and realises a lot more all the tiny millions of things I do to run our homes (I think). I have a few unresolved issues about feminism and being a housewife and my upbringing and my MIL's expectations which she passed onto dh. These things are structural as well as personal...
That's kind of understandable that you might feel sad about that. That's ok I think, if you're sad then it's harder to be angry and resentful at him perhaps? It's good that you're both on the same side, I think that's necessary no matter what, but if you're going to R then you have to have that.
