The parenting isn't the hard bit, not really. I've been thinking about that a lot. My kids are old enough to be reasonably self sufficient, they aren't fussy about eating and sleeping, and they're really good about helping around the house. They bicker and I get a bit of attitude now and again, but it is within the realms of normal. And I'm in my quietest time of the year for work, and will be for the next couple of months, so I can basically be a SAHM with some skype meetings and remote working here and there and that is all okay. So it isn't the work - and if we were together it would be reasonable for me to do all the domestic stuff while he finishes this project. It's the sense that I am acting like a wife - picking up his half of the childcare - rather than a co-parent - and doing that while he's not able to act like a husband. It makes me feel very vulnerable. But I did manage to express that to him earlier this week and he's been much more present and warm and validating towards me since then. Not hearts and flowers exactly, but just acting like I'm someone on his side rather than the hired help he resents. That feels better. It does mean I miss him a bit more though, and I feel sad in a way I haven't done for a while.
