Not Sure Where This Is Going

[SteveLW]

I haven't had to deal with it. However, why can't it be both? D2 has to be going to bed at what? 8pm? Go out after. If she is going out, she could go out after too, though you can't control that.

So do bedtime routine, then go out. On nights your plans legitimately interrupt that, then have W do those nights. You aren't doing anything wrong by going out and GAL. And look at this way, kind of like road construction, "short-term inconvenience leads to long-term relief". If you do this well, and are able to save your MR, that will be a huge bonus to D2.

I do need to 2x4 you on your last statement to her. You did pretty well, though I would encourage you to do more listening and validating, until that last statement:

"I'm also sorry for the choices you are making."

That was dripping with judgment and accusation.

Her:"I'm sorry this isn't going the way you want."
You:"Thank you for that. Life doesn't always go the way we want, but there are better days ahead."

or "Thank you for that. I can understand how all of this must make you feel."