1. I know she has enough left to feel bad about 'openly' hurting me. Letting her know that I know, might trigger a little more guilt
You don't want her back because of guilt. Plus it will most likely piss her off more that you were snooping.
Originally Posted by P_Jam
2. She is in a bit of shock about her actions - not letting her keep this EXTREME a 'secret' I think helps with the necessary loss/shame
Good! The quicker she hits rock bottom the quicker she comes out of the fog.
Originally Posted by P_Jam
3. as Sandi noted.. for whatever reason (probably the above) I'm bursting to let he know what I know. And if it doesn't hurt the sitch.. it's then off my chest at least and not something I'm always trying to find an avenue to discuss.
Number 3 makes zero sense to me.
Originally Posted by P_Jam
Very early on in this sitch I talked to her about sexual compulsion (because of my previous issues) I also talked about Limmerence (because of my previous issues).
Again, you are trying to use logic and reason with an emotional human being.
Right now what you are going through is what is known as the "illusion of action". You feel like you need to do something or say something to stop the pain. Again, the only thing you need to do is to Open the Cage Door.
The reality is she is done right now and is convinced her moving out and getting rid of you is her ticket to happiness. As human's when we ignore reality we suffer and that is what is happening to you right now.
Can her feelings change? Absolutely! It's going to take awhile. There are no short cuts. This is a marathon and not a sprint and you are at .25 miles right now. Every time you pursue or have a relationship talk or try to tell her what she is feeling you go back to the starting gate.
That's reality. You can ignore reality but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.
