Not Sure Where This Is Going

[Niall11]

Twice since I thought, wrongly, that she was giving me an opening and it turned out badly.

Temp checks, as well call them here. You solidified yourself as a backup plan. Your goal should be to never make that mistake again.

But either her projection or my poor poker face has led her to say that she knows I'm not happy with her late-night activities.

No, it's the fact that she is married and knows this is horribly wrong to be doing what she's doing.

I was willing to face what I did to get us to this point.

And she was willing to use that against you and blame you for what she is doing now. You've made your apologies, leave them where they are.

Agreed on all counts. No apologies anymore. I said it all back then.

Once during this whole saga she went to our friends next door (they're much more my friends, which is another story) and talked a lot about the whole thing. They'd heard a little from my end. My friend didn't want to discuss it but did say she's a lot more torn up than she looks and vacillates between feeling guilty and telling herself she suffered enough and has earned the right to behave this way. Once, two weeks ago, she flat out apologized to me for being such a b**** to me for so long. I didn't respond.

My ring is now off as well. No initiating time together, touch, sex, even conversation. I let her come to me. She does come home and tell me funny stuff on the internet or about her day at times. I listen and try to be pleasant but not overly enthusiastic.