Dealing with a complex MLC and/or Wayward Wife

[P_Jam]

I dont think you screwed up per se I just think you need to have a realistic expectation of how long all of this will take for her to potentially view you in a different light. More than likely it will take years. You are still in the documenting trying to rationalize and comprehend phase, thinking that one singular thing you do or have done is going to make or break your sitch. Truthfully it is a culmination of many different things and years of her walls coming down to make a difference.

I do not deny this at all. But I also do not believe I will be on this board updating my sitch for years. Maybe i'll stick around to help others. but if this really takes years, I don't count myself 'in' between now and then. So for me, it's about maximizing the opportunities (whether they really exist or not). As well as saying these things out loud and to her face so that I can also better internalize them. To truly detach - I need to not care about her - which means I need to move on. That will be my focus. So call it what you want... as long as there isn't some hard facts that says this will actually make it worse - my perspective is to be forward and upfront on my way 'out the door'.