Niall, welcome to the forums! You've got a pretty typical WAS on your hands, and it sounds like WW (wayward wife) as opposed to WAW. Honestly the details (being interested in women and such) don't really make much of a difference, a wayward is a wayward is a wayward. Pay special attention to Sandi's posts because she really digs into the whole wayward craziness and what to do and not do as the LBH of a wayward.
One thing I will tell you is it is not going to get better for a long, long time and will probably get much worse. Your marriage is not even on life support, it's on a marble slab with a toe tag. It's dead and gone. That doesn't mean you don't have a future R and M with her, that could very well happen. But you really need to understand that you can't "save" what you had, she's way too far gone for that. She's got to go off and explore all these "urges" and craziness she thinks she "needs" and she'll probably never be able to do it while under the same roof as you. So prepare yourself for her to leave because the chances are very good that she will.
Focus on yourself and your D. Protect yourself from her insanity. DO NOT PLAY INTO IT. No more trying to negotiate with her (such as offering to let her explore having sex with women) it's just making you look weak, pathetic and unattractive. You've got to regain control of your life and quit putting up with her crap. She has ZERO respect for you right now, and you've got to get your respect back not just to possibly attract her back again in the future but to make yourself feel better about YOU.
