I can't offer much advice on piecing other than what I have read here. Look for consistent behavior from your H, validate where you can and continue to focus on your 180's and GAL. Most of all keep your expectations of your H low. I suspect you are in piecing when you don't need to double think every action before you make it. You can just send a text, make a phone call etc without investing any energy or emotion into whether you should send the text/make the phone call.
This is a journey for him as much as for you and he too is trying to process a lot of emotions. He wants to make that journey with you but he is processing hurt and guilt and probably resentment. This does not mean give him a get out of jail free card for bad behavior, but just a side note to say be patient. So, there might be some pulling away, some distancing but be patient with this. He too is learning to trust again.
I do recall from your earlier posts your H could be abusive (mostly verbal if I remember correctly). This is not on. If you are to build a relationship 2.0 then it needs to start as it means to go on. Whilst patience is key to this, you need to also be able to respect yourself. And you can't do that with someone who doesn't show you respect. I appreciate you don't want to do anything would reduce the chances of reconciling, but you need to respect you. I would call him up on this now. Calmly but with authority. "I want to make this work, our M is worth saving, but I won't stand here whilst you speak like that".
Anyway, thanks for piping up on my sitch. I would love if my H called just to see how I was. He never does. All the calls are about the children. You are doing really well Alison.
