Rollin' with the punches

[Ginger1]

Well, I met with my surgeon yesterday. At first with the one deflated he told me he could give me a really good result without the implant. Then we decided To drain the other one so I can see them both the same size and get a better idea. Well, that one collapsed kind of funny and he did t tho k he could give me the good result on that side. I went back and forth, cried in front of the doctor..... it was bad. I left deciding to replace them. M was on his way over and I was getting changed then I started looking at myself in the mirror and thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. So..... I sent pictures to my bestie who is a big advocate for me getting them removed. She told me my boobs are fine . We had a discussion about loving ourself as we are and that we aren’t kids anymore, we know what’s important these days and “t!ts are t!ts”. So I went back to not replacing them. I can’t live with being 60 and needing another surgery and having to pay for it again. I’m not going to be much richer then. I feel like it would be incredibly irresponsible. But I still wasn’t 100% sure of the decision

M came over and we assessed the whole electrical project and ordered everything we needed. He’s doing an incredible amount of work for me. Then we talked about my survey and appointment. He, as a big boob guy is an advocate for me having them put. He thinks health above all . He told me I will be gorgeous on matter what, it’s not going to change the way he looks at me and he loves me so much. I told him I was scared to make the wrong decision and he said he knows I will make the right decision whatever that is and he will support me and be there 100% either way. He held me, he told me many times he loves me ( not something he usually does)he was very loving and engaged last night. He’s back to his old self. I felt awkward at first being intimate woth him because I was scared of him seeing or touching me there. But he made me feel oh so comfortable.

This really does stink. I wish I didn’t have to do it at all. But I have to. But I think I’m better off not putting myself in this situation again.im terrified I will wake up from surgery, and hate my result for 15k.
My heart knows the right thing to do.

Then yesterday I got called into the bosses office and freaked out. Well everyone got called in. They structured our assignments. We will have an even bigger patient load the. We have already. And I got the most challenging floor! It is what it is, I need a job.

I did decide when this is all done I need to take care of my health. I need to eat much better, lose weight and get back in shape.

Not a 20something anymore.

Can’t wait this weekend to be drinking beer with my ladies!!!!wait until you see our T-shirts on FB!