Adam - I always sit up the front at the movies. A childhood habit that has been inherited by my children. One of the first films I can remember seeing was Star Wars. We were right up the front and my dad let me lie on the floor. When the "In a Galaxy far far away ... " started to scroll up the screen it was simply magical. I have sat up the front ever since. But I took D9 to Aladdin the Musical. The front row was very very expensive so we had to make do with four rows back. It was still magical. Mostly because her eyes were as big as saucers through most of it and her little legs were kicking in excitement.
We are all mostly coasting along in our new normal. Trying to be nice, sometimes failing. A couple of interesting things of note.
One has to do with our dog. My H does not think I take good enough care of her. Since he moved out and I let the Au Pair go our dog no longer gets a daily walk. This is because I leave home at 8 and don't get back until 7 in the evening. On the days I have the kids, our nanny arrives at half one and sometimes walks her and sometimes not (depending on what is on that day). On the days he has the kids, the nanny does not come in, and our dog may be alone from the time I leave to the time I get home. I am often too tired to walk her when I get in. He will sometimes come over on these days and walk her. Well, last week she was only walked once during the week. When I went around to the flat on Saturday to visit the girls he asked me how often she had been walked. I answered truthfully and he replied "If you dont' start walking her more I am going to have to think of alternative arrangements. It's obvious you don't want her". I simply replied "OK". I know I could have validated "I know how you feel ..." but the end of that sentence would go along the lines of "but it is tough to fit in walking [our dog] with 12 hours of work" and it would just have escalated. In any case, I have learned to identify when he is just having a moan and to not get defensive. Just let him carry on and not feed the fire.
The other is to do with D12. She has been suffering with a migraine and tiredness all week and has been away from school since Monday. Monday morning he came round to take them to school. I mentioned that D12 had a migraine and was looking a little under the weather and D9 had been complaining of a tummy ache. He looked at me, said "I don't need this, I am going to wait in the car. You're supposed to have them ready when I get here". I was a little taken a back and told him they were ready, I just thought he'd want to know his children were unwell. He looked shocked, and then went upstairs to see to D12. I let D12 stay home Tuesday and Wednesday. Today, they are both home and he is watching them until I return at lunch time (I am doing a half day). I did suggest on Tuesday morning asking his mum if she minded coming round for a bit but he said not to as his mum would only moan at him about my leaving D12 on her own and then moan at him about being 'obliged' to come visit. This one is weird. Normally, he would have loved having that conversation with his mum. Not because it was moaning about me, but because he and his mum are very similar. They love to judge and criticize other people but not say it to their faces. It kind of suggests he doesn't want to hear her moaning about me. It's either his bored with moaning about me to her or he is starting to see things from my side. I do not think this is the road to R but it does suggest less resentment.
