Dealing with a complex MLC and/or Wayward Wife

[P_Jam]

Wow.. as I write/wrote all of the above - it's clear I'm having a pretty tough day today. On one hand trying to defend my sitch and how 'positive' it might be compared to others. I'm now realizing I might have been having a few good days as my wife was down with the flu. I was able to be 'helpful' without pursuing. I was able to feel like I was 'doing something', I was able to give a hug when asked, but also show that it was authentic on only the most basic human level. I was DB'ing! But still doing it for her.

Now as she's better and having conversations with me... I ALMOST LOST ALL OF MY GROUND. She was talking to me about the kids and homework schedule after she moves out. And this almost came out of my lips "So, how are you feeling about all of this?" - I really wanted a temperature check after the last few days. I know some of this is also withdrawals from snooping as I would normally be able to snoop and find out what she says to others.

now I'm in the dumps, unable to focus on the work I need to do, and spending time on this board trying to 'solve' my problem. Which is impossible!

I've found some good posts which directed me to a book I will start to read tonight - "Daring Greatly" about how to be vulnerable. Also going to reread all of Sandi's post about WW.

Good news! The above words DID NOT COME OUT OF MY MOUTH. Was calm and never discussed anything then what she brought up about the kids. Whew.. although the urge was strong I'm sure the regret after would have been even stronger.

Deep breath! Back to work - needed to dump.