Dealing with a complex MLC and/or Wayward Wife

[P_Jam]

Oh the irony of it all...

I'm still very hopeful that my sitch will show signs of R sooner rather than later although I do admit the R/piecing will be the long/hard part for our sitch (if we get there) - but I do feel I have the strength to keep that idea on the 'back burner' - meaning I'm committed to detachment - simply because waiting seems too painful.

TB, I quickly read you original posts. Some differences that I notice to my sitch to yours and others (although I need to read a lot more - will now be checking out Accuray per LH) - but from your thread and others that commented on it:

1. My wife has never said that she doesn't love me anymore
2. Has never said she's not attracted to me (actually said the opposite)
3. I never had a problem being over critical of my wife
4. I have/had a life (too much of one) this is one of the complaints at BD
5. She firmly believes I'm a good father <-- I'm confident she believes this 100% although I could have done more during MR
6. My wife makes pretty good money and although I'll be paying child support the amount will be very small. Basically just supplementing a little not supporting. But she has a lot of debt that is not mine - so my wife will feel a financial pinch
7. We live a VERY good lifestyle - Shes' Giving up country club, bigger vacations (for her and the kids), great neighborhood for her and the kids.
8. She works from home (which will now be the apartment) which she will spend A lot of time in (I think this will get a bit claustrophobic
9. BD was relatively confusing as she really didn't have a lot other than neglect of her and some household/parenting duties. Which I fully admit is true, but not from the degree perspective she's seeing it now. We have a large yard I do all my own yard work - so our relationship was more of a traditional one (she did inside the home, I did outside) - my point is; I was not absentee. But I definitely played too much golf on the weekends and left her with the kids alone WAY too much. <-- easily fixable.
10. Will not stop wearing her ring - and fought me when I told her to sell it for cash.

This is why I'm torn by the definition of WW or MLC - I do have some stuff to work on but looking back it does not seem to be that bad. My wife has no hobbies. Never really has, all she has ever wanted was to be a mom. Now that that is so fulfilling she's blaming a lot on me. Generally I know this is the 'script' but it seems that in a lot of other sitches there might have been a lot more negative things going on. I know this might be some repetition for those of you that have followed my thread - but my sitch feels more like a 'normal' growing apart and letting the kids dominate 100% leaving nothing for the MR. The WW has just been her way of acting out to find recognition/attention. She also has not neglected the kids too much during this entire sitch. Too much on her phone, not totally present but generally still very involved in every aspect. Has not 'dumped' any on me. I have started to do a lot more due to 180 - but she has not shown signs of really wanting to let go of everything. Furthermore, her WW lifestyle might have something to do with my cheating - which she just found out about (revenge) - maybe instead of her new way of life??

I know i"m still probably plan B in her head - but only because she doesn't know what she wants, not because she's so sure she doesn't want me.

I know, I know - let me have it. PLEASE! I only continue to write this stuff cause it's how I currently feel. And I may need the 2x4's upside the head to get me out of this thinking.