Thanks DnJ. I still cannot believe that I have gotten there. My STBXH admitting his affair was a definite helper in that regard. As is all of the attention I’ve been getting on OLD sites. It has shown me that my life is not over and I feel myself being excited and enthusiastic about life again. Before when I thought of my STBXH, I would get this knotted feeling in the pit of my stomach and burning anxiety in my chest. I don’t get that anymore. If I do think of him at all, the thoughts are fleeting and there is little to no emotional or physical response. I am so grateful for that and grateful to you and the others on this board for their wisdom and encouragement.
Journaling...
Well yesterday just s#cked!!! I started getting a headache on Monday and by Tuesday morning it was a full-blown migraine complete with vomiting. So... got my BIL to drive me to the hospital and spent most of the day there hooked up to an IV. Thank goodness for my MIL who stayed home with the kids all day and made sure they were fed and entertained. She really is the BEST. This morning I still have a bit of a headache but nothing too painful so will go to work today.
Not much to report on the dating end of things. I have a ton of messages on P of F that I haven’t looked at yet as my dance card feels a bit full right now. All four guys I have been in touch with texted me yesterday. Tinder guy continues to send me random messages every day. I have been returning them but keeping them short and usually I don’t get back to him right away. I am hoping he just figures out it is not in the cards. I know, I’m a coward.
Facebook guy and I continue to be in contact every day for most of the day on and off. I get a lot of mixed signals from him which is totally fine at this stage. I know he likes me but is worried that our interests don’t match and that is important to him. I’m not worried about much. Just enjoying the friendship and wanting to continue building on that. I don’t have any expectations about where it will lead which is highly unusual for me. Still haven’t even figured out if I am physically attracted to him but that will work itself out the more face-to-face contact we have. Lately he has been texting me a lot of music that he likes. I feel like this is the “do we like the same kind of music” part of the “job interview”...lol. So far, so good. About 95% of what he has sent me, I like.
“Jack” and I are also in regular contact but that is more for amusement than anything. He is way too young for me. We just have fun flirting with each other and I think will eventually meet for fun but I don’t see us doing anything more than that.
This weekend I am kid-free. Looking forward to sleeping in and having the house to myself. You were right FS when you said I would eventually appreciate having the free time.
