The social growth continues. I went clubbing/dancing for the first time time last Friday. I went with my uncle (in law), his GF, and her three other friends. We went to a nightclub where most of the music they play are hits from the late 80s/90s. Upon arrival, I go right to the bar and order myself a non-alcoholic drink. I needed something to boost my energy (Red Bull), but I also wanted to work on my body language skills. One such skill is having the drink hang at your side and leave your torso exposed. Apparently vulnerability is an attractive trait. Our group made their way to the dance floor and started dancing. Five of them were in a circle and I was the odd man out. Not knowing what to do, I sidled to one of my uncle's friends and started dancing...not with her, but alongside the group. It felt a little awkward at first, but as the evening progressed I was able to be a part of the group dancing. Between dancing, I went outside and chatted with some women who were taking part in a bachelorette party. One of the ladies asked me if I was named "Eric". One of the challenges for the bride to be was to find someone named "Eric". I said I was not, but I told them I can pretend to be. They laughed and told me that if I am to be called "Eric" I was supposed to buy the bride to be a drink. I bought her a drink, toasted to her marriage and made my way back to the dance floor where i danced alongside my group for another hour before heading home. Lot of fun.
Quiet rest of my weekend. I have three nights and two full days with D5 and that is unfortunately not going to change anytime soon. I miss her. I miss my family. But I know I can't have that right now. Not with the way things are.
I went to another speed dating event last night. I hit it off with one of the women before the start of the event and chatted with her quite a bit. Lots of flirting, her touching my arm, etc. Felt good. Did the event and ended up with the woman I started off with. More talking, more flirting and light touching. I asked for her number and texted her my contact details along with me asking her to get together at a later time for dinner and/or drinks. I get my results from my speed dating thing and was informed that I matched with the woman who I was talking to. So...yay. I just emailed her letting her know of my availability for this week and weekend and left it at that. No response from her yet. And that's ok. I'm getting good practice.
Planning a quieter evening tonight. I'm going to lift and maybe putter about town for a bit before heading home early and going to bed. Wednesday and Thursday look to be the same. I'm trying to find social events to go to, but they are mostly in the city and I don't want to continue to go back and forth attending to them. Maybe I'll find something as interesting here?
I seem to be getting along better with my WW. I keep telling myself that it does not mean anything and as far as we're concerned, we're still moving forward with the legal separation. Though I cannot help but think in the back of my mind that there still may yet be hope of us getting back together. I keep telling myself to snap out of it and that it is just a fantasy, but it's a though that still lingers. I tell myself that there is no way I would ever take her back the way she is now. She needs to change for me to even consider it.
And I am also feeling that even though I claimed I was fully detached from WW, I don't think I am. I don't feel like I am. Maybe it's going take more time?
