He's still not thinking on all cylinders. Your h thinks that he is helping you by sending you his spreadsheet. Here is what I would do if I were having to deal w/someone who can't get it together. BTW, I don't think he is capable of comprehending what you are asking of him at the moment.
Here is what I would do if I were having to deal w/someone who can't get it together. I would make up a calendar and indicate all of the commitments that your son has. I would make sure you had a copy posted on the frig, etc. and send it to him. Advise him that this is your son's schedule for the rest of the school year and summer and also be advised that if something else should come up, you will update the calendar and send him the update. By doing this exercise, you can always refer back to it and remind him to check the calendar for availability for visits w/his son. Trust me, if he really wants to see his son, he will make the effort...but it sounds like he is truly depressed and can't get out of his own way to a clear path.
As for the discussion about the house, etc., send him a text and give him a date and time to be at your house to have this discussion. Advise him, that unless, he meets w/you, you are going to move forward on getting your taxes done...which could mean filing separately and him having not getting a refund.
OneArt, sometimes, you have to try something different. If he is like most of the MLCers, if he thinks that he will either have to pay taxes or not get a refund because he didn't work w/you, he just may meet w/you at a designated date and time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
