Nope. Not yet. But I get the feeling in the next couple of months I’ll be sending her a text to the effect of “Hey, I need to talk with you about something...” I do feel ashamed / embarrassed about this—probably a NGS trait that hasn’t totally died within me, but it still hurts and I’d hate to tell her about this.
Originally Posted by Twofeet
Just a question, is she just a platonic friend? Someone you see as a sister or a potential R if your MR ends?
My take on her is that is FF and I met at different times in our lives, we very well could have been an item. I originally met her my 1st year of grad school, and I was already dating someone. I kept boundaries with her, out of respect for then-GF. FF’s apt. was broken into my second year of grad school, and I saw her Facebook post about needing help, so we messaged, and I spent time with her, and that’s how things started. I did that with no expectation—just trying to do the right thing and be a decent person. We’ve been friends since. We’ve both helped each other move, and I found my first post-grad school job before she did.
We click very well, and she’s probably as much (if not even more so) of a traditional Catholic than I am, if that’s any indication. She took (and sent to me) pics of the 2 of us with cardboard cuts out of the last 3 popes (current Pope included). She lives in Chicago, and I believe I mentioned in an earlier post that she is trained to do annulments. Wait until she gets a load of this, oh man.......
We click well emotionally, she’s very similar (if not more so) to me spiritually, but the issue is physical attractiveness towards her. Just not totally there for me. Honestly, if I was really physically attracted to her, I probably would have pursued her long ago, and W may not have made it into the picture. FF did help at our wedding, and was the baptismal sponsor / godmother of YS, and was the stand-in / proxy godmother for OS.
Long answer short: More of a platonic friend / sister type, but I’ll be honest, the question has crossed my mind more than a bit.
Regardless of how all this shakes out, I don’t want to be fooled again by a woman (someone else, or even if W wants back in the pic down the road). Right now, I’m a bit leery of pursuing a more devout / faithful Catholic woman because I wouldn’t want her to do the almost-180 that W has done on really, well, everything—personality, faith, wedding vows, what have you. (I know the traits don’t correlate, but it’s me speaking more from hurt, as Sandi acknowledged on an earlier post.)
If this goes through, hopefully I have in my favor the fact that I live in a metro area of 13 million-plus people, with scores of beautiful women around.
Originally Posted by Twofeet
If things go to D those 3 months without W may be stressful for you. However, it's going to be an awesome time for bonding with you and the boys.
I’m trying to keep some perspective about this fall; hence why I’m treating the coming days where W works late / goes out / whatever as a ‘dry run’ for single Daddyhood, as well as what to expect when she goes away this fall.
Will it be stressful? Yes, but for me I’m learning to cope and build my strength so it won’t be as big of a deal, if that makes sense. I believe I mentioned this before, but whenever W has to work late / go out / travel, or even comes home late, OS gets all melancholy and asks “Where’s Mommy?,” and I have to reassure him that yes, she will be home / back eventually. A D is not going to help this, and I’m sure this will be even more fun (narrator: not fun) in the event of a D—but hey, that part is not totally my choice.
But I’ve already had *some* experience with this: Fall 2015, W went to DC / NoVA on a temporary assignment of 90 days, so I was taking care of OS (then-only son), and I was a 2nd year teacher. Man was that rough—re-working my classes, and caring for a soon-to-be 3-year-old. I also mixed in a bout of bronchitis towards the end of that for good measure. But we survived, and I did it.
Luckily, this coming year will be my 6th year teaching (overall, and at my current position), so it will be easier. YS will make it a bit of a challenge, but it will be nice to have them around, yes. Plenty of bonding time. Plus watching college football / NFL / postseason baseball with them will be nice. Maybe the sporting gods will smile on me and have the Browns make the playoffs, Indians win the WS, and Ohio State win the college football title. That would be cool.
