Dealing with a complex MLC and/or Wayward Wife

[P_Jam]

Hi All,
Thanks to AS and DV for their input on dating and OW!

Just a little update and Journaling for your reading enjoyment:

Feeling really good the past couple of days. I think it's because I've stopped All snooping I have nothing to 'think' about and try to 'fix'. I'm able to look at the future (short term) and picture myself as single dad (every other week). I'm also able to feel excited about when I don't have the kids and GAL. I'm much more comfortable knowing that - I don't know what the future holds. I feel much lighter (especially today). I also feel more confident in what will most likely be my decision to see OW. Not a 'relationship' - I plan to be wide open with where I'm at. In fact this is a 'decision' I will need to make - as I have been talking with 2 other females because of this situation. One who is 9 months into her separation/divorce and already knows neither of us are actually ready for a relationship. I believe this will end up being a very good friendship. The other is 2yrs past her divorce and still doesn't want a relationship - but completely open to something physical <-- 2 consenting adults. Admittedly I feel a little guilty thinking/planning for such actions this soon. That being said; I also feel that with a WW that has completely disrespected me so much recently, it also feels like I'm just grabbing a hold of some self respect. Regardless of things I lacked in our relationship I do not deserve the recent treatment, continued lies and betrayal (especially after being caught). I believe that I still do want reconciliation but because of the complexity of this situation I'm wondering if it's even possible from her perspective. I know I could, but the steps she would need to take might just be too much for her to commit even if she decides she wants me back. I love her, but do not feel that I owe her the action of putting my sex life and complete detachment on hold. Furthermore, everyone one is convinced this will mostly take years to play out. I know for a fact I can't wait that long. Life it too short!

Update from around the house last couple of days:
W and S9 have been REALLY sick with a stomach bug. Both puking for 3 days straight. So I have been doing my best to help them both through this (without any pursuit). She's noticed too.. Last night she asked me for a hug. I looked at her a little funny then gave her a hug while she was laying down. She said "I bet this is really frustrating and annoying for you". I said: "not at all, you are both REALLY sick and I do not mind helping you both through this. I do not hate you." then I just let it go and walked away. I'm pretty sure she got the message. I'm here, I'm human I still care - but I'm not going to 'care take' and baby you through this. But I'm fine picking up prescriptions, getting you a glass of water, etc. - but the situation does not cause me to forget where you/we are. Not going to put to much weight on this.. but it feels like something Sandi mentioned.. "LIFE has a way of helping them feel reality". I'm sure she is feeling/noticing what she is giving up (security, family, etc) - not that it will change anything in the short term - but she is noticing that if this happened 2 weeks from now she would be all on her own. As none of her EA/PA's are far enough a long to take on this role. Of course I wanted to throw this in her face - but didn't.