My hang-up is: if I'm really detaching and getting to a point where I don't care about ANYTHING that she does, why is it such a no-no to start living my life as a 'single person'. She is! and I'm might end up being single anyway. It's really hard for me to think about my wife out doing girls gone wild while I essentially 'wait" - all at the same time as focusing on detachment?
I started seeing women about a year after BD and it just really messed with my head for a while. I was with my XW for almost 25 years, and it just didn't feel right being with someone else. It's hard to explain but it was just a lot to go through on top of everything else. If I could rewind the clock I would have held off until after my D. I think I would have been better prepared for it mentally. I'm sure it affects different people in different ways so it's hard to say what your own experience would be.
