paco, I think you make a mistake in trying to apply intellectual process to the emotional processes that your W is feeling. Yes, this new resource is self-aware, but did she exhibit that same level of self-awareness through her two divorces? I would argue that it is very unlikely. Otherwise, she probably would not be twice divorced. What your W is going through cannot be explained through intellectual review. There is no intelligence involved with following one's whim based on emotions. Most of us married strong-willed, determined women. My wife holds a Bachelor's degree and was very successful in her vocational life due to the fact that she is decisive, resolute, and not prone to changing her mind related to important decisions. Like the decision that she wanted a divorce.

I fear that you trying to approach this from an intellectual viewpoint causes you to overlook the fact that your wife is not acting on intelligence. She is acting on pure emotion. And when one acts on pure emotion, no matter how resolute they may be when they are acting on intelligence, they are always prone to change later. Emotion is fleeting. Emotion evolves. Emotions have no basis in immutable facts.

I say all of that to summarize thusly: just because your wife feels that her current course is best right now, doesn't mean the emotions that decision is based on won't change down the line. So while you are waiting for a dollop of courage, really what she needs is for her walkaway fog to lift in order for her to realize that her decision doesn't make sense based on reason, as opposed to emotion.

And with time and space that fog can lift. In fact, my sitch is a perfect example of that very occurrence. And that is with a W that is as resolute and determined in her pronouncements as anyone's. In fact, in terms of stubbornness, I would put my W up against anyone else's W. She is as stubborn as they come, and I can provide a myriad of examples related to just how stubborn she can be.

So there is always hope. Also paco, I would be remiss if I didn't ask: is this new "dollop of courage" requirement theory based on the fact you really believe that? Or on the fact that there is a growing attraction to this new lady?

Last edited by Steve85; 03/25/19 06:42 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018