Burger night with my buddy was good. We don't catch up as often and it was good to get together. Yeah, we talked about my sitch. He was in my wedding and I in his. This conversation was far more up beat than the last one over burgers. Still not the news I want to deal with but it is what it is right now.
Saturday Mrs. Turbine and I worked on the house a little bit. Lots of her saying the hurtful stuff. Lots of me validating but not as much as I should. May have hurt my case too. Had a few times where I had to leave the room and get things back in control.
Lots of not getting back together because she is being nice. There was a maybe in there though with later.
Why not put this on pause Mrs. Turbine? Why does it have to be done? I love you, I want no other. However this is a bridge that may only be one way if you have your doubts later.
This morning I saw her wedding dress in the living room. The dress I paid for and she brought with from the Philippines. More hurt. I have no use for it and why save it? Memories? I have pictures and what is in my head. This is still so hard for me. It seems like she threw a switch and BAM... done. I know that isn't true but it sure feels like it.
Still going to the gym, Dr. had a few thoughts I will share with my coach/trainer.
My head and my heart say don't quit. Getting lots of advice to do that though. I want to keep fighting though. And that right there may be why I will loose her. I can't or won't let go.
I am praying. Not sure I understand the answer I am getting back. That seems like a discussion to have with my minister.
Very stream posting here so this will hopefully clear my head a bit.
H (me) 56 ; W 54 ; M 32 ; D 32 ; D 30 ; S 21 ; Grandkids: 12, 11, 10, 8, 1
